Can You See Through My Clever Disguise?

[Summoning Darkness]

Closed off from love
I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you're frozen

My mane blew in the breeze, and my tail cascaded behind me like a waterfall. My body was carried quickly along the ground in a trot, delicate hooves dancing underneath me. But I wasn't at all delicate. As I haulted dust came flying up infront of me, surronding me in a veil. I stepped out, muscles quivered underneath a black paint pelt, only the white splashes were dyed blood red, as were my hooves. It had been an 'unfortunate accident', when a cougar had attacked me.

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melts into the ground
Found something true
And everyone's looking round
Thinking I'm going crazy

I looked around the area with my petite head, everything about me was petite, but big things come in small packages, remember that. I remembered my first meeting with a stallion. He had been so strong.

But nothing's greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybe

I saw him now, in my mind, but quickly shook him away. He was long gone now, murdered. The world was wrong, it deserved to die. It decieved me, changed and twisted me. How could I ever live with myself now? After all the things I had done wrong? All the things I had never said, never did?

And it's draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see

He had turned on me, and I had lost it, now he was gone. It was all my fault. No. It ws not my fault. It was the world. It was everyone, everything. I rose into a rear and let out a melodic tune. Hoping, and yet not hoping that one would come. Why did I keep doing this?

I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding

(lyrics from Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis)

[k2ishorse]

Silver Moon cantered into the night, hiding in the shadows, his glowing silver pelt deceiving him. Oh, what the heck was the point? He cantered out into the moonlight, something he hated to do, thus was uncommon. Hating open spaces was one of his weaknesses, though there weren't many more. He continued cantering along at an easy, gallant pace. His silver coat shimmered, and a wind picked up to reveal a sideways half-moon on his forehead.
He'd gotten to a peak, the claiming grounds below. He cantered down into them, thankful for the dawn. Now he'd be concealed in the shadows, appearing to be but morning mist. He spied a brilliant, unique sight at the bottom of the hill... Was that a black and red mare?
Slowed into a gentle trot, he went down the hill, tail cascading in and out of the shadows. He did not want to scare this red mare, he simply wanted to speak with her. Maybe she was here for a reason, maybe. He wanted to know that reason, and so he was coming to her, hoping, hoping.
When he neared her, he slowly crept out of the shadows. He was about seven horse-lengths away, not close enough to scare and not too far to acknowledge. He bowed and said, Greetings. Would thee have the pleasure of knowing thou's name? Thy own name tis Silver Moon. He straightened and looked at the mare, not quite meeting her eyes. He had deep sapphire orbs, but sometimes they were piercing and pale. He didn't want to scare the mare, so he did not quite meet his eyes to hers.
Patiently he awaited her reply.

[Reflection]

[glow=red,1,600]A hazy hue covered the sky, as clouds rolled slowly in. The warm temperature ensured the slow, but progressing approach of summer. Suddenly a twig snapped announcing the arrival of a painted blue roan bodice. The equine snorted slightly at the snap, and slowed it's moving trot to a smooth, fluid walk. The wind howled softly, and the sky was enlightened by the promising dawn, pushing away that depths of night. But the dawn came all too slow, in the opinion of the equine. As the atmosphere filled with the sweet scents of flowers, and life, The equine stepped out from the bushels of plants and tall trees, hovering over the rest. At the noble holding of the equines neck, and the calm reassurance, it was instantly obvious that 'twas a stag. His feathered daggers hit the ground softly, and his banners danced gently along. His gypsy Vanner blood showed plainly, and he held his crown high, as he flared his nostrils. Suddenly a scent caught and he changed lead to the direction curously. When the mare came into view his curiosity was thouroughly aroused. She was a fae who seemed to have quite a story behind her, judging plainly by the red stained upon her gleaming pelt. and even though he wasn't quite sure about her nature, he might as well speak to her a greetings...
When he reached the vixen raised his soft and striking blue orbs to make direct eye-contact before speaking, but gently
Hello.
My name is Illusion.
He raised his painted crown and continued
Who might You Be?
The wind rustled past softly, and his banners cascaded nobly down his neck as his bright blue orbs shone with pure curiosity, and as always; understanding. Illusion nodded politely to Silver Moon who as well stood before the vixen, and as the wind blew gently through, he turned back softly to the vix, to see if she would reply...[/glow]

[Summoning Darkness]

It hurts to much to see your face. As I stumble through the world. Yet I can't leave you behind, can't let you go. So stay with me even if your long gone. The hooves I trod on I hated, not that there might be something wrong with them. It was just what I have done with them yet here I was again. My pelt was far to bloody already so why had I dared to set foot in a place I really should be scarce. But now it was to late to leave as morning was rolling in and what came with it was two stags. How much we had changed in the time we spent together. What did it I will never know. Why you turned on me the way you did broke me in a way that still lasts today. What I did to you I can't stand and now I might do it all over again as I have forever to others who came after you. The two stags were nearing and as they came I was dreading of what I might do. Of them I did not fear, instead it was what I could do. One was silver and the other a paint. What was I doing?
Silver Moon, Illusion. It is a pleasure to meet you both. My name is Adina.
I said, my voice sweet and gentle. I pricked my ears forward and turned my delicately dished face to both of them. I showed not what I was thinking or the way I wanted just to go hide to stop myself from doing damage. They were both so kind by the sounds of it, so much like he had been.

[k2ishorse]

Silver Moon nodded to Illusion, accepting his presence. Adina, it's nice to make your acquaintance. He looked into her eyes for the first time, and saw misery and regret. He didn't understand her sadness, but he could at least understand that she was hurting. He hoped that, maybe, he could help her have a new hope, a new light.

OOC: Will finish later!!!

[Reflection]

[glow=red,1,600]Adina…Illusion thought What a lovely name…And so he raised his soft, and soothing blue optics as he spoke, his tonation vibrating with sincerity.

That’s a lovely name Adina, It fits you well.

A soft warm breeze wafted through and as Illusion stood there his optics shining with gentleness, he never broke eye contact, for there seemed a unique and absolutely enchanting veil surrounding the vixen’s soul, and the pure immaculate, and immeasurable length of the immortal mirage that seemed to dance in her chasms tirelessly. It simply entranced him. And illusion made a vow mentally, that even if the vixen did not choose him in the end, he would always stand against any who ever tried to impair harm upon her. Simply sacred her chasms were, because they danced so vibrantly, and illuminated her emotions so dearly, that they were a rare and scrupulous gift.

After moments of thoughts, Illusion finally raised his crown, his sapphire chasms showing with an honest truth, and understanding, along with a gentleness assuring any, as for the vixen seemed worried slightly, and he hated to impair worry upon any, even enemies, of which Adina certainly was not.

What brings you to the Arrowheads, Adina?

Illusion asked gently, his caressing optics watching her gently. His voice spoke out with a honest, understanding, and absolute emotion filled tonation. His banners flew gently as another breeze came through, and all was silent except the occansional twittering songs of nearby birds, as he awaited her reply….[/glow]

[Summoning Darkness]

Adina
I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to be the reason why. Everytime I walk out the door. I see him die a little more inside. I don't want to hurt him any more I don't want to take away his life. I don't want to be, a murderer.

Silver Moon was sooo formal meanwhile Illusion always had something to say that might shock you. His first words suprised me, he said that my name fit me well. If only he knew. My name meant loyal and dainty. I was far from that. Maybe that was what I used to be... before. I noticed that Silver Moon had paler eyes and seemed a bit nervous to make eye contact with me. Could he know? No, he couldn't. But then Illusion... He never broke eye contact, he had eyes different from every other. They were understanding and were gentle, reasuring. They said he would not hurt me, but that was what my loves had done, so long ago... My eyes no matter what one may think of them, did show some of my true emotion, but other times, like when now. When he asked that last question. I was terrified by his question, yet my eyes just gained a bit of a sadder tint. I was a good actress, I did not want to be. Rather what I had become... The monster in me... That is what spoke, but it was kind and sad, like any mares with a bad past.
I came to arrowheads becuase of all the events happening in my homeland. The cougars are gaining in number and stallions are constantly fighting over cougar free terra. In one of these fights my love was killed and I turned out into the most cougar filled place of them all...
It was a well rehersed story, I didn't want to do this anymore. I wanted to tell the truth but I couldn't. I couldn't live with the truth of my life. All the things I had done. So I lied. I let the monster inside of me take control and hid behind it to hide myself from my past while creating more misery to myself and those around me.

[Reflection]

[glow=red,1,600]Illusion watched Adina carefully, and when her chasms hued a sadden tint, he knew that her past was dark. But not simply saddening. It was dark. Because when her chasms hued a sadder tint they revealed one key thing, that instantly gave away every answer. Because they hued an emotion of personal pain. And so when she spoke, Illusion watched her, and saw the lie clearly in her eyes. Truly, if you hadn’t glimpsed that one revealing hint, you would never see the lie. For she was a good actress indeed, but as she had yet to learn eyes revealed everything. And yet they revealed so little. And for someone who had witnessed and impaired pain among others in a winding past, yet changed somewhere along the way, finding their true self, they sometimes had a rare talent, of closing their eyes while they were still open. Someone like Illusion. If he wanted you to know something, he would tell you or simply let you see it in his optics. He could speak to you through his chasms, if he wanted to. He could make his chasms distant, unreachable, and undecipherable. But until you had witnessed and impaired things such as he, you would never truly understand how to do such. And so, as Illusion raised his optics they shone a soft, gentle blue, rolling like the waves of the ocean, calming, and soothing, and yet they also spoke clearly with a hurt emotion. His optics ever so clearly seemed to ask her “Why? Why are you lying to me?...”. But he never spoke until finally, when he kept that calm, gentle, caressing gaze, and raised his crown slightly before speaking

Eyes tell everything Adina.

He did not accuse her of anything. He did not even send that message. She would know what he meant. A cool morning breeze wafted through, announcing the full arrival of the morn. And with the morning came new hope, and chance. Adina would have to see that your past does not form you. You form yourself. And just because you were say…a monster in the past, doesn’t make you one for eternity. It’s not that hard to change. You just have to believe in it.

There’s no reason to lie Adina.
Even if you were a monster in your past, doesn’t make you one forever. And I can clearly see that you are no monster. If you have impaired terrible things upon others in your past, all you have to do is ask for forgiveness. Not them. But yourself. Ask yourself for forgiveness. Your past does not control your future. I will not judge you. Trust me…please. I understand what you’ve been through. I know exactly how you feel, and trust me, it does not have to be this way. Lies are horrid burdens. They do nothing but hurt yourself, and add guilt to you. Try the truth. It’s the best way to heal, what has occurred.

Illusion’s voice was clear, and soft, calm and caressing. It was comforting, and it urged her on. She could do this. His optics laid softly upon hers, pure and untouched, and caressing gently. The soft blue hue a mixture of the sky’s dawning blue and the oceans smooth waves. Birds songs rang out melodically, and another breeze flew through, smoothly soaring over them. She had to understand, to heal the pain. She had to savor the sorrow, to soften the pain. It was the immaculately pureway to mend a soul, and heart…[/glow]

[Summoning Darkness]

Adina
I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to be the reason why. Everytime I walk out the door. I see him die a little more inside. I don't want to hurt him any more I don't want to take away his life. I don't want to be, a murderer.


I watched Illusion carefully, there was something different about him. He actually understood. I wanted to know him better, but, if I knew him... Suddenly his eyes showed a message. He had decoded my lie, slowly the monster in me was fading away. I was shocked by what his eyes said. I both wanted to go run away and go toward him. Part of my lie was truth though.
Because the truth would hurt you too much.
My eyes read for a split second, only if you were looking for a message would you see one and as soon as the message was out I looked down at my blood red hooves. When he spoke he spoke something my love had said all the time and I had to use his words once...

The morning was crisp and clear, but a storm was rolling in. I did not fear of course as I rose to my feet my love was out already, probably in another fight over the terra. The cougars were becoming a real pain and the other stallions thought him as weak as he only had one mare, me. I trotted out into the golden sun light, clouds far in the distance. The rays sparkled off of my black coat and I shook to get the dust off of the white. Looking around I saw my love coming towards me at his smooth flowing canter. I nickered joyfully to him and he nickered just as happily back, but as he came closer I noticed his eyes. Something was wrong.
What's wrong love?
I asked quietly, reaching out to nuzzle his shoulder.
Nothing dear.
He said but flinched away from me. Something was wrong, I backed up, his eyes were filled with sorrow and they just kept apologizing to me. He began to walk towards me and for the first time in my life I was afraid of him. I began to back away, constantly whinnying to him, trying to get him back to him. Suddenly he broke into a trot then reared as soon as he was close to me, his hooves nearly hit my skull but I managed to duck away so he only hit my withers. I fell to the ground at the imact and he reared again above my skull. I rolled and his hooves landed right where my head had been as I scrambled to my feet. I spun around and started running from him as fast as I could, yet he kept up. I was about to bite me so I bucked, hitting him hard in the throat. He fell, hard. I spun around, a raging wound was deep in his neck, the wind pipe was nearly comletely cut.
No..... NO!
I cried out. He had tried to kill me, but I still loved him...
I'm sorry...
He choked out,
I lost, I didn't want you to suffer from cougars.
He said then his breathing stopped. He had thought it was best for me to die now... I lay down by his side and blood soaked my white patches as I leaned against him. The sky got dark as I lay there and the heavens opened up, and in my grief it seemed as if they were grieving for him too. That was the day I had decided all stallions would die. The day the monster took over me.

My eyes grew distant for an instant and for once they showed nothing, nothing at all until I returned an instant later,
I know.
I said, eyes showed all... I noticed of how careful he was not to accuse me of anything, he was so much like my love had been. What he said next was dead on, but I couldn't tell the truth, not to him, not to anyone. Maybe I could start fresh but never forgive myself, I was the reason my love had died.
You are right, but the truth might hurt everyone else more then it hurts me.
So many stallions I had actually killed, but the only blood that stained my coat was my loves, a harsh reminder of what I had done. All those stallions, they had had loves too, they had herds to protect and foals to take care of. So many lives I had destroyed. The monster in me vanished suddenly as I thought of this and I wanted to cry, I wanted to be alone, but I also wanted to be surronded by those who understood. Those who really understood. I did not cry though, even though tears welled in my eyes and I ducked my head to hide them.

[Reflection]

[glow=red,1,600]Illusion’s soft blue optics laid softly upon Adina. He watched her chasms, her gorgeous, dancing chasms. And yet, the lies eluded the dancers. Some things were lies, but the dancers in her chasms most certainly were not. Suddenly a message seemed to waver over her optics at his mental question. Because the truth would hurt you too much. She seemed to say. Try me. I assure you that it would never. His optics seemed to say gently, and caringly. The deep, yet light blue of his optics rippling like waves, and yet shining softly, gently, proudly. She could do this. Suddenly Illusion saw her plummeted into a flashback, and worry wavered over him, though when she awakened the worry ceased slightly. But if you were looking, you would still see the faint glimmer of total worry for Adina. Illusion pricked his auds as she spoke again, and listened carefully as her soft lyrics were let out into audiation. He nodded, his optics shining the same blue, caressing gently, and trying to comfort her. Then she spoke again, and illusion saw pain flash through her optics. You are right, but the truth might hurt everyone else more then it hurts me.

Ah, That Adina, is where you are wrong. The truth may hurt others, but not as much as it hurts the owner of that truth most times. And the truth begs and begs to be released, but the lies stand guard, taunting the truth endlessly. The lies penetrate, the truth tries. If the truth never tries to hurt anyone, lies are made to hurt. Everyone makes mistakes. Even the truth. But in your situation, I can plainly see that the truth would not hurt others, as much as it would penetrate you. But the only way to demolish the lies, is to gather your strength, and endure the pain that the truth brings. Because the pain does not last forever in truth. Though in lies, it can last for eternity.

He saw the tears welling in her chasms, and all the dancers hid away. Something pulled at Illusions heart as he saw those tears threatening and he took one step forward, not even thinking. His optics shone even brighter now, and they were filled with worry, and compassion. They showed that if he could he would run up and give her a hug as if she were his best friend, to try and fix the pain. But she was in a extremely delicate state of heart, he knew her well enough to only take that one step, and he understood, and that was why he took but one step. But that one step was filled with so, so, so many words. That one step was filled with phrases, words, emotions, and much more. That one step had true meaning, and his optics showed that clearly. Because as he watched her now, he was so intent on her, that he forgot to guard his emotions, and if one turned to look into his optics they would see so, so, so much more then just a stag. Dark past or not. If one looked into his optics at this moment…they would see so much revealed. Winding tales, and emotions he tried to hide away. Illusion always tried to keep his optics guarded for many reasons, many secrets, but the main reason was that guarding his optics meant guarding him against memories. Horrid, horrid, memories, and flashbacks. And so, ironically, the flashbacks picked that very moment to strike. And suddenly Illusion’s optics shadowed, as he was plummeted into a series of flashbacks…

“get out” the gypsy vanner stallion growled, venom dripping off every word. “No. Get Away From Her Father.” The blue roan painted yearling said, his voice ringing out boldly. But he didn’t feel bold. He felt scared, shocked, caught, and defeated, he knew he stood no chance against him. But he could not step back, and let his father hurt her…because he loved her…so dearly…. Not that he would ever tell his father that. His father kill him on the spot. Though, he started getting the feeling that his father would do that anyway in a few moments. “She’s my mare. Not yours. Get OUT”. A terrified waver flashed through the yearling, and he wanted to step back and forget he had ever stepped in. But as he glanced at Mirage, he knew he had to do this. “Get out and I’ll leave her alone” His father growled but the yearling watched his eyes as he spoke and saw the lie clearly. “you lie.” The young stag accused. the colt’s father glared before lunging out at the yearling and missing only by an inch. The yearling reared up., and prepared to knock over his father, but before he could his father recovered and his father slammed into him knocking him to the ground. The yearling jumped up and winced in pain. But his father wasted no time and took off galloping. His father drove him miles, and miles, and death’s angel seemed to be preparing to swoop down and swiftly take the yearling. But his father arranged his death before the angel moved. For, finally the yearling’s father drove him off the cliff…It was a terror. And the yearling felt pure terror strike at his heart. But somehow, he survived the fall at the canyon’s base. But he could not move. Death would take him soon, it was obvious, because he had so many broken bones, from the slam as he hit the rocky canyon ground. Then suddenly his father’s voice echoed through the canyon from above, and the yearling could faintly hear it. “I was going to leave her be. But she will not live one second more. For if you did not see, she followed us, and now because of you, She will die. Here. Where I stand, I will slaughter her, and you will hear her scream, echoing through the canyon walls, as she dies, because of you. Because of YOU. Faded Illusion.” His father sneered ruthlessly. A few minutes later there was a sobbing, and scream as Mirage was driven to the canyon edge, where the yearling heard the scream uplifted, the scream that signified death, the scream of his lover, fill the air densely, and then he heard rocks tumble as she was pushed from the canyon side by his father, and she landed heavily on the ground, next to the yearling; DEAD. Suddenly it was all too much for the yearling and his emotions over powered him, as he felt his breathing grow heavier, and he fell unconscious, with his fathers ruthless laugh ringing in his heart…

A single tear slipped from Illusion’s optics as he gained back into reality, and his blue optics filled with rememberance. He had been through so much. Memories flashed through the stag’s mind. Memories of starving, falling off a waterfall unconscious, numerous tsunamis, cyclones, tornados, hurricanes, deaths, being so lost in himself, being such a heartless equine for a time, ones he cared for being killed, his father, finally killing his father, the death of his mother, deception, revenge, hate, and much, much, much more. But the memories that hurt the most, and the ABSOLUTE most, would be that day in the canyons that he somehow survived, the death of his herd, being faded lost and eluded, and most of all memories of the slaughter house, and Man. Pain, Pain, Pain. How had he survived it all? Instantly the image of Angel smoothly sailed through, and he knew. Love had saved him. Love and understanding. And the knowing that he could never let anyone live to suffer from their past like he had. Never. And so, when he raised his optics once more, they were filled with the same caressing, soft, calming, blue hue. But they were also filled with something else, numerous undecipherable emotions, along with determination, and an incredible amount of understanding.

Trust me Adina. The truth could never hurt me. And if you truly don’t want to tell of your past, I can speak of mine, to show you that I do understand exactly what you’ve been through. You just have to believe me, and Most of all you have to believe yourself. You’re more then your past could have EVER created, trust me on this. You are talented, understanding, extraordinary, and have breathtaking potential for the future. Come on Adina. Can’t you see the light?[/glow]

[Summoning Darkness]

Adina
I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to be the reason why. Everytime I walk out the door. I see him die a little more inside. I don't want to hurt him any more I don't want to take away his life. I don't want to be, a murderer.

[glow=black,2,300]He spoke words he could not have known to be true unless he actually knew what I had been through. The way his eyes shon encouraged me to tell him and the words his eyes spoke I was unsure if they were true but he had a right to at least a warning. I couldn't bring myself to tell him though, he was the first horse to understand, through all his words and understanding he would still think a monster of me. Wouldn't he? Then he took a step toward me and his eyes showed how he really wanted me to be happy that doubt slowly started disappearing. Then suddenly his eyes changed, they had been carefully guarded I realised as I watched them. They showed his own pains and sufferings. The ones he loved and lost. How he was betrayed. How he survived. How he just got up to try again. That was when I realised that he had a past like mine, with pain and suffering and hiding and wanting everything just to be ok and nothing to have happened the next day. But of course it was never ok, you had to fight with yourself and the elements and everything else. How you had to find your real self again, the self you never knew was there because you kept pushing it away over and over again because you didn't dare let it come out because you think the monster that you might be was the real you. And if you let it out more and more of the ones you cared for would die. But all the while you are slowly killing all the ones you care about and even yourself without even really seeing. He knew everything of which I had gone through, he had his own past that was filled with horris memories he wished to forget just like I did. But that was ok. He moved on. So could I.

Then his eyes shadowed and I realised that his memories had come back to haunt him as they had me. Slowly I moved toward him as he had that once for me but I stopped after only a couple steps. He still had to know what I had done, and what would happen if I told him when I was close. Would he react worse then? Might he strike out at me? I had to chance it though. When he came back I saw that one single tear. I knew it was alright to cry then but not to go over something again and again. I saw him realise all over again how he had survived. His eyes howed emotions that were beyond words. Ones that were unnamed. Or believed not to be there. Everything was there in his eyes as he looked in mine, my tears gone now. Now was not a time to cry, now was a time to recover, and to let him know what I had been. I could change now. He had helped me see that, but wether he would stick around to see me change was his own deal. He had to know what I had done. I could not reveal it before Silver Moon though, he had done nothing but introduce himself and ask of my name. There was one way I could tell Illusion though. The one way that never lied.
I have killed over and over again. It started when my love lost a battle, someone had won his land, a land that was free of cougars. I killed my own love when he got angered. Nearly my whole life I have killed and regretted and moved on to another so I could do it all again. Every death I have caused has been to a stallion, with herds and foals. Now I realise when I killed him I did not just desrtoy his life but the life of his mares and children. Now I see that the other stallion only faught my love for his terra because he had a herd and family to protect. Now I see that my love just wanted to try and protect me from the cougars by doing what he did. Now I see so many other things because I'm actually looking instead of looking away.
My eyes read silently, looking into Illusions. Saddness and pain echoed in my eyes but something was hidden deep withen them as well. That thing was understanding and hope...[/glow]

[Reflection]

[glow=red,1,600]As Illusion read her past through her chasms, sadness flowed through his chasms, but also a compassion. A strong, strong, emotion of compassion, and more. She had been through much. And they were so very alike. And yet different. Understanding flowed through him, fluidly, and his chasms shone with tears for her, and also undecipherable emotions. And finally he spoke...

Adina...It is not your fault...I assure you that it is not your fault....and to show you what I mean, I shall speak of my past...

Illusion raised his crown, in knowing that he had only spoken of his past to one other, and sharing it again, would be even more painful. But he waited for a few moments and finally moved his caressing optics to hers, and let his vocals ring out...

Less then two minutes after I was born my father killed my mother. He was going to kill me as well, but decided me to be a trophy of the kill. I was a big target for him. Whenever he felt like it he would injure me greatly. And I could never be even relativelty close to any of the mare's, or even their colts. I don't know why he killed my mother but I hated him. I hated him more then anything could be hated. Three weeks after I turned two I saw him hurting one of the mares that had secretly become my friend…and more..because I grew to love her... I ran to my father and attacked him, but he was much to strong for me. With his enormous size, and strong gypsy vanner bones I didn't stand a chance, as a two year old. he chased ma from the herd chaotically. But even when we were more then 10 miles from the herd he kept chasing me....He chased me off of a cliff... and then he did the same to Mirage, the mare I had tried to protect. And though I survived, she was killed. And There he left me. Left me to die. I never would have lived but something inside of me gave myself the strength. 3 Months I laid there; unable to move, for in the horrid fall that I miraculously survived I had severly injured my leg. Finally after three months and 8 days I could get up. I was starving. God, I was starving. You could see every bone, every rib, every moscle on me. I was even less then skin and bones. My legs were already weak, and the hurt leg made me weaker. But the Gypsy Vanner Blood in me gave me strength, and I some how made it to a grassy meadow. By dark, I had eaten my fill and I slept under a tree, that showed the stars. Suddenly in the night I was awakened. I was awakened by claws dug deep into my flesh. Yes, there had been a couger resting in the branches above, and in my relief, I had been so carless to not look. I fought the couger, and won. But just barely. I don't know how I survive, and my heart was hurt. But I fairly quickly recovered, and after a few months I had fully recovered, and gained weight until I was in normal state again. Since there was a hungry couger around the meadow, I continued on my journey. I traveled for a while before I stopped although, while I dozed I was roped and caught by a ranch wrangler. He and his partner dragged me to a ranch where many horses were clustered in many corrals, and people gathered around. One by one we were brought into an arena where people shouted things and who ever shouted the...numbers was it?.....nevermind, but I was jammed into a trailer and taken to a equestrian center where they tried to "gentle" me. ha! I didn't fall for that. I ended up being sold to a ranch, where they jumped on my back, spurred, kicked, and striked me until they were thrown off. none ended up riding me, so i was abused severly. Suddenly "gentling" didn't look so bad. well, eventually they took me to this man who jammed me in this horrid, huge, stock trailer filled with over 30 horses. I tried to speak to the horses but only one had a moral high enough to speak back. I asked him where we were going and why all the horses were so depressed and his answer was "We are going to a place where no horse returns. The....Slaughter house..." the horse I was speaking to gave a shudder and continued "The horses are depressed for one reason. and that is that we are all going to die one way or another. we will either die on the way to the slaughter house, or once we get there." then the horse dropped his head sadly. the horse's name was Harley and he died in the trailer before we reached the stock house. may others did too but I did not. and I did not want to die because of humans. so right when they loaded us into the corral, I used all of my strength to jump the fence. and amazingly, I made it. Then I galloped away. I galloped for my life. And...I kept it. I ran and ran until I could no longer run. I rested for a few days and regained my strength then I just wandered for a while. I was resting one day when a hurricane came in. A tree fell next to me and I was spooked. I ran blindly in the pounding rain. I fell into the river and was carried downstream. I fell off the 67 foot waterfall, and somehow missed the rocks below. but the impact of the fall knocked me unconcious. I awoke less then a week later and started looking to start a herd of my own. In 2 months I got 7 mares. But as I was out on day, my father found the herd, stole 5 of the mares, he severly injured one of the two he left me with, and he gave me yet another scar. the one he injured died a few days later, and my last mare......well......3 weeks later there was a tornaido and well......I never saw her again. By this time I had endured so many horrid things I became lost to myself and I was bitter, and creul. I was completely lost. After 2 3/4 years I finally believed that I had re-found myself. but during those years, my memory had been faded, and I wanted to be myself but I couldn't. During those years I had also endured a 9 ½ rated earthquake, that almost killed me, a coyote attack, a wolf attack, a flood, another hurricane, 2 more tornaidos, another couger attack, 2 more gathers that I just barely escaped, a tsunami and throughout it all 17 more attacks from my father. I eventually killed my father, but by that time he had no more mares because he had murdered them all. Until I turned 6 I just wandered until I finally reached Arrowhead Mountians, claimed the Magic Mountians, and lived my life here…though one thing I didn’t mention was that during those years even though I killed none but my father…the pain I was put through was just as painful and more. Much, much more…and yet…now I’m restored. I can see the light, plain as day. But the real question is…can you?


As he finished Illusion raised his chasms and they were filled with the same caressing, soft, calming, blue hue. But they were also filled with something else, numerous undecipherable emotions, along with determination, and an incredible amount of understanding. along with the pain, and relief. And an astonishing amount of something else. Something more. As he waited for her response, anotehr breeze wafted through, and he never broke eye contact, as he watched her, gently....gently... [/glow]